I Broke Up with my Phone
I have a phone addiction. I finally decided to do something about it.
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Goodbye, iPhone.
I’ve had a problem for years. My phone has been taking over more and more of my life.
So much so, that it’s become a permanent fixture in my hand.
No one around me complained about it, which I found odd. After thinking about it, though, I realized that they aren’t complaining about it because they are used to it.
My kids and my husband are used to having a distracted wife and mother.
I talk about it in this video here.
My Habits are Terrible.
I’ve tried to cut down on usage before with absolutely zero results. I never stuck to a plan or even restrictions. I was totally out of control.
I’m old enough to remember life before these devices. I’ve only had a smartphone for a little over 10 years. We didn’t even have them until we lived overseas on a military base. We bought them to stay in touch with our parents while we were living in Japan, and it sure did make that easier for us.
Today, I run multiple social media accounts, my Youtube channel, my facebook group, and all sorts of things through my smartphone.
But…am I really using my iphone for those things?
When I started paying attention to my habits, I realized that I wasn’t using it for “work” so much as I would have liked to say. Actually, I figured out that I use my laptop to do most of those things now, and my phone is just another extension.
When I looked at my settings and screen time, I had a huge wake-up call.
I was doom-scrolling. And not just a little bit, a lot.
Doom-scrolling is what I call the hours-long scroll of Instagram or Facebook with no intention. The black hole of videos, pictures, and endless memes that suck you in until the wee hours of the morning.
If I was ever going to stop, I had to figure out why.
12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You
The book that started it all for me.
Stop the Scroll
I started reading the book “12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You”, and listed in one of the chapters is the top reasons why people doom-scroll. I found my top 2;
1. Boredom
2. Distraction therapy (avoiding physical pain)
The first reason, boredom, is something that I can control. I just need to replace the scrolling with something else. The second reason, however, avoiding physical pain, has proven to be harder.
When I say avoiding physical pain, I’m talking directly about my migraines and neurological disorder. I started grabbing my phone to scroll to get my mind on literally anything else other than the pain. Yes, it did work. It’s called distraction therapy, and I found that it works better than most things (for me) for pain management.
Unfortunately, it turned into a complete phone addiction, and it’s not good. There have been a lot of negative effects.
The Damage
I can’t get around the fact that I’ve caused damage.
I have trouble focusing now. I thought it was just because I was getting older, but the more I learn about the harmful effects of screens, the more I think I did this to myself.
My brain is having trouble focusing on written words (like a physical book or magazine). I skim EVERYTHING now, which is an effect directly from long-term smartphone usage.
I can’t seem to remember what I read, even just after I read it. I have to read things several times to make sure I “got it”.
Books are my passion, and I’ve struggled to read them like I used to.
I don’t even want to think about how many years of my life I’ve wasted being on my phone.
The worst thing, though, is when I think how this has effected my relationship with my kids and my husband over the years.
Several weeks ago, I knew I needed to change these habits.
This was Hard, but it’s Worth the Effort
Like any addiction, this was not easy to give up. My brain had a hard time adjusting to not having my distraction tool beside me 24/7.
First, I took my phone and started putting it in my bedroom for the entire day. I kept the ringer on, so if family called or texted me, I could still get the phone. But I treated it as more of a landline (remember those?).
Then, I logged out of my facebook and instagram accounts on my laptop. It’s been over a week since I logged back into my personal facebook account.
I have strict guidelines/rules for social media now.
1. I can log in 3 times a day to my homeschool account to check on messages, post the content for the day, and answer questions. The rule is I have to be doing something productive.
2. No scrolling.
3. I can’t log in via my phone. The apps are off my phone and cannot come back on.
4. Once my content is posted, I have to log back out.
Where I go from Here
It’s been two weeks, maybe a little more, since I implemented these habits.
I still find myself reaching for my phone out of boredom, but not nearly at the rate I used to.
The “out of sight, out of mind” thing has really worked for me. Having my phone in another room has been one of the most effective ways I’ve cured this addiction.
When I quit my personal facebook, I found that I had a little FOMO (fear of missing out). I had a little anxiety about being “offline”. After the first 10 days off facebook, I found that the thought of checking my facebook was giving me anxiety. The desire to log in is completely gone now. The tables turned completely.
I feel more at ease. I can read more easily now and retain more information. I’m still working on focus and concentration. That will take time, I think.
Being “disconnected” feels odd, but not bad.
I have no plans on returning. I’ll still post my content to my Handmade Homeschooler facebook page, but I stick by my rules. No scrolling, and I only log in to post my updated content, answer any messages, and leave.
The world didn’t stop moving just because I left Facebook.
I realized that Facebook needs me more than I need Facebook.
I’ll write more about this topic as I progress through beating this addiction. For now, I’m just happy to be in my own bubble, and outside the loop.
Until next time,
Soli Deo Gloria,
Mandy
